erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
