Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
