halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
