Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
My brain says no but my pants say off.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Randomize
