i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
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If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
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The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
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