Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Randomize
