Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
