Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
