Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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