His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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