She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Randomize
