I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
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