Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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