Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
