hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize