I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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