But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Randomize
