Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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