dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
