just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
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Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
what the fuck happened to the tacos
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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