he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
