and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
