I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Randomize
