So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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