What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
