i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
