Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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