Jerry, you need to find god
I have demons in me.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
