I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
