i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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