Only a mothe r could love this liver
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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