it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
she told me i tasted like america
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
The struggles of a small town man whore
The adults are the big ones right?
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