She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
