You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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