nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
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