I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
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He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I think pants incapable of making pants work
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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