I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
