I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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