Fine. I'll sleep in my office
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
