at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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