this beer tastes like vomit already
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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