Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
