Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Randomize
