it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
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