Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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