So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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