I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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