I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
