Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Randomize
