why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
