nut hugger
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
