Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
