it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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