I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
