I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
