the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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