just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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