Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
