he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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