Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
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